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EACH
MOMENT BRINGS US face to face with
possibilities - choices, various roads we can take.
Yet most of the time we have such trouble specifying
a path for ourselves. Why are decisions so difficult
to make?
By examining the causes of our indecisions, we are
gifted with awareness. Through awareness, we achieve
liberation, as we come to a place where all roads
are open and perfect. We realise and accept the
greatest gift of all - Free Will.
Fearing the Future
One of the main reasons for our indecisiveness is
our fear of future instability - or more aptly, fear
of future insecurity.
Every decision we make leads to a path. All paths
are uncertain because they concern the future - and
are therefore unpredictable.
All
uncertain and unpredictable paths are unstable. Why
does being unstable cause us fear?
This is because we tell ourselves that external
things, such as friends, family, lovers, situations,
career and money, can make us happy. All these
factors represent a pool of power that we draw from
to give us happiness. Power is synonymous with love.
We endeavour to seek this power, this love,
externally because we do not believe we can source
it from ourselves - we do not love ourselves.
As we draw power (love) from these externalities, we
perpetuate our state of instability through our
dependence upon them. This is because as those
externalities fluctuate and change, we become
disorientated and ultimately lose our power source -
we become unhappy.
And this is where this philosophy of fearing
uncertainty (the future) emanates from. The future
is uncertain and therefore unable to offer us
definite security. When we realise that our
happiness
is
reliant upon something that is inherently unstable,
we realise that drawing power externally does not
serve us. As we begin to draw from within, we create
the very essence of security. The more we draw
security (power/love) from within, the more this
security becomes something that is harmless to
external influence.
This enables us to have a completely different
perspective and experience of our reality. Instead
of allowing external people, experiences and
situations to control our choices, we allow
ourselves to make the decisions. It is when we allow
externalities to make our decisions that cause us
such pain. This is because we know our true
decisions are not being met. Would you like it if
your parents made all your decisions for you? Of
course not! You want to make your own decisions.
Then treat all externalities in the same manner!
As we learn to believe in ourselves more and more,
we open ourselves up more and more to a world of
infinite possibilities.
Distrust of Ourselves
Another factor for our indecisions is that we simply
do not believe in ourselves. We do not believe that
we are capable of making a sound decision that will
lead to a positive result. Whenever we are undecided
about something, we are basically saying to
ourselves "I am uncertain whether this decision I
make is right. Therefore I am uncertain of my own
ability to make right decisions". This is a direct
reflection of how we feel internally about
ourselves. If we were confident and secure about
ourselves, we would not be concerned about making
"wrong" decisions.
Our internal fears
always
emerge to inform us that we are simply incapable of
making a decision that could lead to a positive
experience. We doubt.
So let us ask, what is doubt? If we look at our
language definition of doubt we see the words
distrust, disbelief and uncertainty prop up. And
this is what doubt is - it is a distrust of
ourselves. Our internal and external conditioning
informs us that we have no right to believe in
ourselves. We dictate to ourselves that we are
simply incapable of making a correct choice. When we
have little belief of our own power to make correct
choices then this will be reflected in our outer
world. We will literally approach people, situations
and experiences with this negative belief
(insecurity) of not having an effective power.
Doubt over Our Ability to Handle Tough
Experiences
Another aspect of our distrust is our belief that we
are incapable of facing certain situations. When we
fear making wrong decisions, we basically fear a
possible negative future event and how we may be
placed in it. Ultimately, we also fear our ability
to handle that possible negative situation.
If we were truly confident, secure and empowered in
ourselves we would not fear any situation or
experience because we would know we could handle it
and not be negatively affected by it. Therefore, all
roads would be open.
This point ties in with another crucial factor of
where we are still seeing the world in terms of good
and bad, right and wrong, black and white. This is
polarity consciousness. This is the paradox of our
distrust. On one hand, we do not trust
our
ability to make "right" decisions. On the other
hand, we harbour a belief in right and wrong in the
first place! However, it is important that we
approach both points separately because both
individually offer us respective growth as we
overcome them. As we evolve our awareness to see as
a compassionate being, we see the truth, beauty and
splendour in all things.
All situations have an opportunity of growth as all
situations serve us. To fear situations and
experiences only empowers potent messages to our
subconscious mind that we are weak because we are
unable to handle certain situations. It is
imperative for our own happiness that we do not
simply label an experience as negative since this
will tie us to it. When we see the Light in all
situations, we move on and become happier, wiser and
stronger - we grow. It is therefore crucial that we
change the way we perceive all our experiences. We
must endeavour to see the purpose in all things.
It is also essential that we believe in our own
ability to handle any situation. There is not one
situation that we cannot handle. It is only our
disbelief in ourselves that causes us to shrink from
pain and suffering, thus making that pain and
suffering affect us more! If we really fear our
ability to handle negative situations, we will
literally force ourselves to live under a rock for
the rest of our lives. Yet this still does not hide
us from negative situations! A fearful ostrich that
hides its head under the sand, still has its entire
body open to attack! You simply cannot run from your
fear - and this is not something to fear either! It
is a part of you that you have yet to heal, embrace
and transmute into a positive trait.
Where a choice leads to a so-called mistake, it has
highlighted a part of you that needs healing anyway.
Whether you experience that 'mistake' now or later
is irrelevant, it is a part of you that must be
addressed and healed if you are truly to be fully
empowered. By aligning with your heart and raising
your awareness, you can heal your 'mistakes'
(insecurities) before you experience them.
So by moving beyond the polarised view of black and
white, we see purpose to all situations and
experiences. We also see the power within ourselves
to transmute any situation into Light, ena bling
all experiences to help us grow. Thus we do not fear
any road or path
As we learn to be more confident and ultimately
realise that there is nothing to fear, we realise
that the world is in fact an exciting place of
infinite opportunity with unlimited doors to open
and explore.
Negation of Our Own Intuition
Another cause for our indecisions is our incessant
negation of our own intuition.
We are constantly told throughout our childhood,
adolescence and even adulthood that we must look
outside for confirmation of our decisions. Schools,
parents, institutions tell us whenever we make a
decision to first question it. "Are you sure? What
did your boss say? Why have you taken this subject,
what are your friends taking? You're too young, I
know better". In reality there is no 'better'. There
is no right decision. Both are equally valid because
both are the choice of the individual. Of course,
children require guidance in life, yet to truly
learn and be happy they must trust their own
decision-making ability. Free will is the ultimate
gift, why let another take it away from you?
Remember, if we are constantly seeking validation
from others and seeking others to make our decisions
for us then we are not truly living. A common
example of this is with psychics, psychiatrists and
counsellors. For example,
psychics
are wonderful beings who can offer us insight into
the various roads that are open to us. However, we
must endeavour not to rely on them to make our
choices for us. The same is true for counsellors and
psychiatrists. If we are persistently seeing
(depending upon) another to choose a path for us or
to confirm our decisions, then we are sending a
clear message to ourselves that we need others to
validate us. We are basically saying that others are
more capable of making right decisions in our own
lives! This creates an internal theory that we are
imperfect in some way as well being weak and needy.
These negative beliefs (insecurities) will then be
reflected and manifested in all parts of our life.
We already have the answers to all our decisions
within. Let us take a very simple example to
establish our intuition. Let us say Robert is a
gifted and passionate musician who is desperate for
a break in the industry. He is offered a two week
contract to make a CD that could sell millions or to
go on holiday with his friends. What is he going to
choose?
Robert will immediately feel compelled to the path
that satiates his passion and desire. Sounds too
simple, but the real decisions we make are the ones
we don't even think about - because we resonate with
the response. We intuit. We know.
Making
General Decisions
Making decisions can often be time-wasting events as
we fret over the possible road to take. Will this
road lead me to the Emerald City or it will it take
me to the Wicked Witch of the West? Both are
perfect! If you 'suffer', you have learned something
and are stronger, wiser and ultimately happier. If
not, then you have still reached your goal. Dorothy
found her way, despite randomly picking paths and
getting into trouble. The yellow brick road is your
golden path to your dreams, it is already paved! It
already has many directions, but they all weave in
and out to lead to your Emerald City..
And this is the way to view all decisions. Not
simply as one path that serves you and another that
does not but to view
all
paths that serve you! Remember, by viewing
everything as pure and perfect, you bring about that
perfection into your life.
Let us take an example and look at Angelina. Now
Angelina tells herself that she has huge problems
making decisions. Every time, she is faced with a
decision, she is immediately faced with myriad
alternate directions and paths that could possibly
lead to a multitude of other directions! However, it
is only Angelina that is confusing the situation
here! There are a multitude of paths open to you.
Always. However, you are not always confused about
the direction you choose. Why not? This is because
you do not always harbour doubt when making your
decision about your path. Angelina feels confused
every time she has to make an important decision
which affects her life experience. She doesn't want
to make the 'wrong' choice.
There are a few lessons here for Angelina to
counteract her perpetual indecision. First, she must
refrain from distrusting herself for making a
'right' decision. Secondly, she must endeavour to
realise that there simply is no right or wrong
decision! Thirdly, Angelina may realise that she is
harbouring doubt over her ability to handle tough
situations. Fourthly is Angelina's obvious
attachment to externalities. The last one is crucial
because it defines Angelina's perceptions, fears and
insecurities - where reliance upon externalities
creates dependency and false comfort. She relies
upon her external power sources for her security.
When she is faced with decisions about a future
direction (which all decisions are), these power
sources become threatened. And this is what causes
Angelina fear and her inevitable indecision.
Angelina's dilemma has never been external; it has
always been an internal conflict
of
belief in herself versus a dis-belief in herself. As
you can see there are many factors involved yet by
becoming aware of why we do things, we transmute the
ignorance within us into wisdom. Awareness is our
salvation and our key to ultimate freedom.
When you truly believe in your own power, you will
take so-called risks and so-called chances. We have
conditioned ourselves for so long to believe that it
is too dangerous to plunge ourselves into a pit of
variable chance. We've convinced ourselves that it
will lead to a negative experience.
So as Angelina learns to empower herself as a Divine
being, she sees that she is instead faced with rays
of sunshine that all lead to her goal. Angelina
realises that each path is blessed, each road
vibrantly awaiting her feet to walk upon.
Remember, you are constantly creating! This means
that whatever path you choose will not necessarily
be the one that you faced when you made your
original decision, since other paths will always be
merging towards your present intention.
So in this respect, there are no alternate paths
once you've made your decision! We tell ourselves,
"What if I chose this path instead of that?"
However, we are assuming here that our one decision
would lead to a definitive result. This is
impossible because of the multitude of other
decisions we are continually making each and every
moment! If your intention is pure within yourself
that you intend to follow your heart's desire and
ultimately serve yourself, then you attract the
benefits from other paths 'that you may have
missed'.
We must endeavour to realise that every decision we
make, every path we
take, is our own sacred choice. As we live our lives
with our positive intentions, then all positive
benefits will be attracted to our reality anyway!
This truth leaves us with the wisdom of knowing that
every decision we make is perfect! By harbouring
positive intentions, we magnetise and manifest
positive experiences into our lives. By embracing
the wisdom of perfection in our decisions, we
simultaneously brighten, clarify and attract the
positive benefits from all other paths to merge with
our own. |